I keep wondering about this everyday. Forget the stupid Skype conversations, messages, or even stupid emails with many misspellings/no revising or rereading my emails, actions, the day i got drunk when i got the money back, and that bouquet that leaked some water into your car when you were with that scumbag. I call him scumbag(because i was played that night i gave you the bouquet, he called me in the morning to tell me that you called him out of the blue to talk abt me and he began offering help that he'll help me get you back and all that shit and he's not going alone with you some, girl is going with him, which later i realized he's fucking playing because you wouldn't call people out of the blue to talk about me, he called you or either sent you a message on fb for you to call). I want to show you a scenario. Lets get back in time when you told me your travelling for 3 months. That night when were sitting outside it was hot and you were angry because i was late because of my exam and you were so fucking worried abt me. ya right! Let's delete the period from the day you actually traveled till today from earth's history. As if it never happened. We r back sitting on your balcony, enjoying dekweneh's hot summer breeze, hearing the people from sri-lanka partying out loud with their glow in the dark one man show. You tell me that you have to travel for 3 months, and i was like first no its not gonna work out. Then next day i m supporting you totally about it. And even i was there to drop you at the airport. What if i said this that night. :" You know what ? Lets take your business trip as a positive thing. Not just for you, but for me too. You'll be wondering y? I would have answered i need a vacation too, I'm just done with the summer semester and Monaco with you for 2 weeks would be perfect. i 'll start doing my papers the next day you travel. You would have been outstandingly happy about that and my total support in that. I would have traveled there lived with you for like 2 weeks, have had tremendous time. And i would have headed back to Beirut to finalize my last semester and waiting 1 and half month to be back here." No am not seeing a psychologist that made come to that conclusion.I do not wanna see any of those scumbags and i refuse you tell me what the heck i am because your not even qualified. I do not know how you could tell someone he's bipolar/schizophrenic based on your internet research or maybe me overspending money. Maybe i was just enjoying my time with you. I know i acted weird when you left me/even when you were there. I know the quality of the relationship wasn't that perfect. But the fact is you made me come head to head with my biggest fear. Being rejected by someone i care for. how many people have fucked up their lives because of that? hein? Its like putting a claustrophobic in a 1 by 1 room for like 3 months. He'll cry, say stupid things, even communicate wrong, maybe lie that hes not afraid and he's good. But finally one day if he didn't die from it. He ll be normal again, and a 1 by 1 room would be a piece of cake. Things i would never ever say or do in any relationship. 1- Ask Why do you love or sharing my doubtful things out loud ? (for me it may look, like i am suspicious or anything but to you its like wth he's talking about) 2- Charity case bullshit talk. 3- Make you believe that i have a low/high self esteem. 4- Have sex in her place 5- Not taking opportunities seriously, i could have built a good relationship with your mom. i even could have asked her if i could add her on fb and be my friend. 6- I could have done millions of things. 7- Clean my belly button everyday. 8- Not delete my fb account like a total weirdo. 9- Act cool when u dump me/or even act logical in my answers not dramatic ("its not me its the environment i live in" quoting me last time i saw you. Stupid lame hableh). 10- Look cool in-front of her friends. 11- Tell you to go fuck yourself when you told me that you met someone outside and tried to have sex but it didnt work out. xx p.s: The day when i told you i was working 3 jobs, doing an MBA, dating you, and taking care of my family. I was right. You told me no millions of people are doing more. You know y i was right. Because i never ever took a break in my life, i never ever traveled abroad, i never did anything for myself. I was tired. I was looking for my mom. was looking for my sister. I just forgot that their is "me". I dated you at the wrong time, which made me act as if im negative or anything. which made me look dramatic/emotional ( i so care about irrational things ). Which made me look uncool to you. Thus you leaving me. What if i was like most people pursuing a career in the right company with right dedication. I would never acted like that.
Singles & Dating - 1 Answers
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effective! i like it :)
