ill try to keep it short...ok im a 24 year old female whos kinda been on my own for 2 years and i havent had friends since i was 12 or when i was last in school. i know im not a total nerd or a psycho and can make friends i suppose. (my father was abusive and racist and made me stop talking to my best friend who was black and even beat me up out of my sleep one night when he found out i was talking to her still....anyway for years i was actually out of the school system and lived from state to state in suclusion with my mom sister and a-s-s-hole coke head stepfather who was also abusive to me & my mom...basically i went from one verbal and psychical abusive environment to another all while being alone mostly and the first 17-18 years of my life were hell. and i am also very fat as well , i always have been and still am which has made it hard to attract and keep a good guy. from the time i was 19 to 23 i was sexually promiscuous also. but here are my problems resulting from these things. 1. I havent made friends in years and i work alone as a maid/housekeeper so i dont see anyone anyway so i almost feel like i forgot how to be a friend or dont know how to meet them as an adult.i dont wanna come off as needy or desperate since im not (i can actually be pretty independent) but i feel ashamed as an adult to have not connected with anyone with a planet of 6 billion people 2. i feel like its hard to trust men or believe i deserve love or be in a healthy relationship . ive only had 2 boyfriend (if you can even call thm that) in my whole life. i would really like a man as a friend actually. so bottom line : how do i change my social life?im goin to be 25 this year and im sick of being alone in every single way. im not looking for the coolest people in the world or to go sky diving and gambling in monaco on the weekend with, just someone to talk to , have a beer with and all of that sh-it like a normal person AND YESSSSSS I KNOW I NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT and i know this is a gradual process im not expecting to meet the love of my life or make an instant new friend immediately as an adult im just wanting to start somewhere
Friends - 3 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
You have to be outgoing. Its an outgoing world. Im introverted myself but I talk to people tht I feel comfortable with. The thing is you have to love yourself. with self love you have confidence, and confidence is being happy. You may have secluded yourself for soooo long youve probably actually forgot how to make freinds. - i was the same way. Ya got to just go for a walk on a beach or in a park, or downtown. Smile at people.Say hello. You have to project that you are freindly and good willed. Trust well, trust is earned not given. Get out of the house, People at starbucks are always talkative and freindly.. and the thing is you are plain hard on yourself. Instead of saying " I dont have any freinds" tell your self " Its time ive made some freinds." and be happy doing it! because people are interesting, not scary.
2 :
Yea its difficult to answer.
3 :
Dear Craigs List girl: If you were here in town, I would take your for coffee at Denny's and we could talk. The number one priority for you is to make HUMAN contact. You simply must! We are not completely solitary creatures --- most of us enjoy, even need, solitude at times --- but you have had too much. My darling girl, get back in to connecting with someone. Are you involved in a church or synagogue or mosque? Do you have any interests/hobbies? Does your community offer fun classes at the YMCA or college or high school? Do you possess a talent for something like singing or piano or a particular craft --- you could help others learn a skill or language --- something like this? Even attending a support group of some kind might help you re-connect with others. You might give serious consideration to one-on-one counseling. It doesn't have to be long-term, but it may help you to speak to someone about your present life. S/he may offer valuable suggestions and insight that will help you rebuild your life. Try to assess emotional reasons you have isolated yourself. Perhaps, these have lead to your becoming over-weight? Reach out to someone, and keep reaching out until you make some positive steps to a happier and more fulfilling life. I found your question and description of your dilemma articulate and thoughtful. You seem to have soundly assessed your situation. Oh, and are you able to participate in some sort of physical exercise? If so, begin with small increments of activity. I hope some of this has helped, and I wish you the very best.
